Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in jeffbear63's LiveJournal:

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Monday, October 5th, 2009
4:42 pm	2 decades! 20 years... 2 decades... 20 years ago today, I had this guy from Connecticut come visit me in Colorado. It was the start of a journey of love and a life together that doesn't seem like that long, but is rich with memories and the calendar proclaims passes the 2 decade mark today. Happy Anniversary, Bob! Let's start planning our 50th anniversary (*grin*) (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 17th, 2009
2:19 pm	Sweet Home Colorado Flew up from Phoenix last night for a long weekend in Colorado. I’m basking in a decadence moment right now… sitting at a picnic table in the park at the Frisco, CO town marina. Laptop running on battery and tapped into the free wifi. 10 feet from an aspen and a pine tree, looking up at several 14,000+ ft (“14’er”) mountains. and have Lake Dillon to my right with boats bobbing up and down. 70 degrees and I feel my left arm already starting to burn a bit from the sun driving up from Denver a bit ago. Weatherbug updated when I tapped the wifi… it’s 108 in Phoenix right now and yet another “excessive heat” warning, meaning it’ll be over 110 there before the end of the day. Had quite a stressful day at work yesterday, then drove airco-less car to the airport in 105 heat in a very foul mood, afraid I was going to miss my flight because of delay getting out of work and all the baggage of the work tension. Traffic was light, bus to terminal pulled right up, no line at Frontier checking or security to the gates. The Frontier planes have animals on their tails and it was Klondike and Snow, the two polar bear cubs born some years back at the Denver Zoo. All I could think was “cubs, take me away…” Ran into an old friend from Colorado boarding the plane and got a few min to chat, then a friendly Cisco employee was sitting next to me and we geeked about half the flight up to Denver. Geeking always relaxes me (*chuckle*) Van (pinkhalen) and Ron picked me up at the airport and are providing crash space for my weekend here. I was exhausted and ended up in be relatively quickly, didn’t get up until 930 this morning. Felt good to sleep in. Picked up rental car and tried one more time to ring the friend I was supposed to have lunch with, but no dice. So I decided to hit the mountains for the day. I forget what a quick trip it is up I-70 to Summit County, where I’m at now. Just barely over an hour from the center of Denver. What I realized as I drove up the highway was my body was relaxing and taking on a feeling of comfort… comfort I haven’t felt since being in Denver a month ago. I am comfortable in Colorado, and less so in other places. I allow that someday I may find another place that I love and am completely relaxed in, but right now there is this singular place. Well, the entire middle blob of Colorado from Denver on the east to Vail on the west, Rocky Mountain National Park on the north and Salida on the south. I feel the stress from yesterday melting away in sun, but even moreso feeling that I’m home. Phoenix isn’t home. It’s not a good fit for me or for Bob and I. Too hot in summer, too populous, tough to make friends, people are high strung and in a hurry all the time, everything you want to do seems to be a 30+ minute drive. As I write this, I’m staring periodically at the 14ers. I’m listening to the aspen leaves clicking against each other in the breeze—sounds almost like running water, coming off just one tree barely 20 ft high. I’m comfortable and I’m home. When I hit Breckenridge, I used Google Maps on my phone to find my bank for some cash. In the same shopping center is a little soup place. I got Shepard’s Pie Soup (has the meat, chunks of potatoes, peas, carrots and onions of a Shepard’s Pie but in soup form) and an apple walnut salad. Cute early 20s scruffy cub put it together for me as I thought of the many things he COULD do for me, someplace more private and with a lot less clothing on. Sat at a little table in front of the shop, eating and looking at the traffic going into the supermarket next door and up at the mountain that Breckenridge Ski Resort winds down the side of. I did stop in the supermarket and buy a Colorado lotto and a powerball ticket. Made the silent promise as I paid for them that if the powerball wins, I’ll be back with cash in hand to buy land in Summit County. Now a few miles back towards the freeway and sitting in this park in Frisco. And I feel so good, so relaxed and so right where I’m supposed to be. I’m not a big energy-and-crystals kind of guy, more pragmatic and about what I can see and touch. But I also firmly believe that humans and places do have a level of energy, a level of interaction, that connects and affects us. Central Colorado’s energy and mine mesh well. Very well. As comforting as I feel when I’m in Bob’s arms, as supporting as I get in words and encouragement from friends and family. The cool breeze feels like it’s partly passing through my body and is carrying smells of water, pine. I almost feel like the last 24 hours of events has guided me to end up at this spot to remind me what is here waiting for me in the Colorado Mountains. Sweet Home Colorado… bet I could convince Kid Rock to redo his song (*grin*) (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
2:21 pm	Extreme astronomy Just spent lunch reading up on progress on a telescope astronomy project in Chile, ALMA. The newsletter I just read is online at: http://almaobservatory.org/ (pick "ALMA Newsletter Nr. 2 (June 2009)") ALMA is designed to work in radio frequencies (not in the visible light we humans see) and will use 66 dishes, which are moveable to create different configurations. The dishes aren't small or lightweight... the transport for them has 28 wheels (*grin*) The operations and testing facility is at 2900 meters (9,500 ft) and the operating facility is above that at 5,000 meters (16,400 ft) in the Andes Mountains of Chile. A high site was needed to get above as much of the water vapor in the air as they could, so the altitude and the extreme dry of the Andes fit the bill. The antennas will have to withstand high winds and an extreme temperature range, yet keep tolerances upwards of the width of a human hair in order to gather the faint astronomical signals from the sky and process them into usable astronomy data. Oh, and the parts for the 66 dishes are being made on at least 3 continents that have to all come together to work to one exacting spec. Some great photos and a good introductory video on their website. Take a few minutes and scope it out. The landscape is surreal in the Andes At the observing site, there is NO plants. None. Zip... Just barren dirt. Whew! Yeah, I'm drooling. Extreme astronomy, indeed. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 6th, 2008
10:53 am	Change It's been a long time since I posted. Alot has changed. But I wanted to share the following. I started leaving a simple comment on www.change.gov and ended up answering their question "Tell us your vision for the country". I felt like sharing my answer here as well. ---------------- This election shown that the American people are ready for change. This transistion website www.change.gov is a startling and welcome part of that. We've had years of fear, of limiting ourselves, of turning inward both in the world and in ourselves. We are a country that openly discussed methods of torture, of shutting out people that want to enter the country (when every one of us that is not a Native American came from immigrants). As individuals, many people have given up personal responsibility to degrees that honestly shocks me. We've let politicians not represent us, and have not monitored their actions well. They've been invading countries, bickering and not working together because they weren't in the same political party, and spending on amazingly wasteful projects with no accountability. We've let businesses and businesspeople be greedy. CEOs with astronomical salaries, businesses who sole focus is "this quarter's numbers" instead of serving their customers. We cannot blame one man or one group for any of this. We the people did this to ourselves, allowed it to happen. It's time to change that. I come out of the November elections seeing that clearly I am not alone in wanting change We saw change and support of positive leadership versus name calling not just at the presidential level, but up and down the political ladder. In the past, America has been a country to look up to, to set a shining example in the world of a country allowing it's people to set their destiny and pursue it both on a personal level and as a nation. In a shining moment in tragedy, we had the ENTIRE world behind us on Sep 12, 2001. I still remember the amazement I felt watching countries like China offering help. Of "enemies" like Kahdaffi in Libya being outraged at the 09/11 act and condemning it. The moment was there to bring the planet together like never before--and we blew it. We took bad information and acted against the advice and desires of new and old allies, and invaded a second country. The situation was complex--again, I can't lay "blame" strictly at anyone's feet (but I do have a short list...). Today. It's time to change. It's time to set an example of "right" and "decent" again. It's time to extend a hand of friendship and help again to other countries, and to LISTEN to these friends. We won't always agree, but it should be a disagreement of friends, not a polarization of opposites with no bond. Within the country, we need to develop pride again. Pride in our work, pride in what we do in our personal lives and our communities, and pride in our country. Not blind pride, but a sense of being a part of something bigger, of contributing to a positive and good presence in our lives, our communities, our nation and the world. And tolerance. Tolerance of different views, different beliefs, taking joy in the differences in people within our own country and outside. We need to reach out and help person-to-person again. It won't be easy to turn things around. Momentum, apathy, the down economy, US troops in two countries, and the people and countries we've angered or disappointed in the world. We've raised at least one and possibly two generations that have entered adulthood viewing the world around them as serving them, they are the center of the world. As a 20-something I know put it succinctly, my generation "is all about what (you) can do for others, and (his) generation is about what can you do for me". I think we've elected a new President and Vice President that can point us a new direction and be strong leaders. They are assembling a team that will help to start implementing this new direction. But it's going to also take me. Take you. Take all of us... to make this happen. We need to teach a generation how to be giving, to think outside themselves. We need to tell the politicians that comparing donkeys and elephants wont' be tolerated, that cooperation amongst them is expected, and that in these tough economic times we not only need to take actions to strengthen the economy in the country, but also need to spend money wisely and carefully. And for God's sake, accountability! It's time to set up a process in governments of all levels for a neutral outside part to evaluate how effective (or not) a program was after it's running or completed. Businesses do this--business can teach government how to do it. So that government spends money more wisely the next time, or at least learns what didn't quite work about the program that was launched. Businesses need to understand capitalism isn't about quarterly numbers or how many houses a CEO can afford. It's about producing a product or service that someone will pay you for, versus paying someone else for. I'm actively seeking ways that I will contribute. That I will turn outward again in my life and give of my time, of being aware what politicians are doing on my behalf, of encouraging businesses to be about what they do, not what they pay the top 5% of their employees. I ask you to do that same. You have to. Don't let someone else do it, you do it and help set the example. We'll bring the rest of them around (*smile*) May we be proud again, and justifiably so, 10 years from now and beyond. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 8th, 2007
3:53 pm	Linux men I enjoyed this posting today: http://www.reallylinux.com/docs/linuxlovingmen.html (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 3rd, 2006
4:54 pm	Uprighting Well, it's been quite a chaotic year, but things are finally settling down. Bob and I survived completing the move to Phoenix and through a summer with me working and us living out of a temporary one bedroom apartment. We weighed purchasing a home, but aren't certain how long we'll be in Phoenix, what part of town we'd want to be in... so we have rented a house for the coming 9 months and will continue looking at our options, but already know it's likely we'll sign a one year lease early next summer and stay in the current house to summer 2008. It's more space than we've been in ever, 1920 square foot. It's 4 bedrooms--a guest room finally! All for $350/month less than we were paying in Colorado. With a family room and a living room (and only TV jacks in the family room), I find myself using the front living room as a nicely large work-at-home office and one of the bedrooms for a personal office. I've seen good advice that such separation helps one focus on work and on not working all night and weekends. "When I go there, I work; when I go there, I do my thing". I'm still adjusting to the whole working-at-home thing. The house is not yet even 2 years old and in far south, west, southwest Phoenix (the next town is literally across the major street to the west). Many new developments out here and not alot of services--grocery, etc--in the area yet. It's about 3 miles to any grocery and 4 to a Safeway I'm coming to like. I did see in today's newspaper the flier announcing Home Depot opening about 2 miles west, so retail is starting to catch up with home building. Two weeks ago, we finished moving everything from the apartment to the house and turned back the apartment keys. Last weekend we moved just about all of the storage to the house's garage and will spend this weekend pulling in the book shelves and starting to unload boxes. Was actually quite a moment the other night unboxing the mixer--hadn't seen it since May! I was recently flying back from a business trip and mused "I'm almost home" and caught myself. Shifting from a feeling of limbo to feeling of Phoenix being home. Not forever, but now--home. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 13th, 2006
12:28 pm	Gay gamers survey I stumbled on this at sony.com today, looking at Playstation 3 information (it's going to be a bloody supercomputer with the Cell CPU in it...). Someone has decided to survey gay gamers (as in electronic and online gamers), which is interesting. Nicely positive web page from Sony: http://www.us.playstation.com/News/Stories/4515 I was especially amused by this: "some gay gamers were concerned that marketers would try to court the demographic with naïve stereotypes, similar to luring female gamers with titles like Barbie Horse Adventure. (We know plenty of girl gamers who like Quake.)" Hmnm, wouldn't it be *gay men* who'd want Barbie Horse Adventure? (*chuckle*) The grad student doing the survey has a website and it's apparently up and running for input right now: www.gaymersurvey.org Since I don't game online, I didn't do the survey, but since I know many friends that read this do--here you go! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
12:12 pm	Now an Arizonan, again This past weekend, Bob and I finished "Round 3" of moving and completed our move to Phoenix. The house in Longmont was emptied into a U-Haul truck, our second car strapped on a trailer behind the truck, and things were cleaned. We didn't tightly pack the front of the truck, so got a bit nervous as it filled up right to the back door... it all just barely fit and the door closed. Friends Ron and Van stopped by to pickup some junk computer equipment I was sending to recycle (Colorado has tough laws now on simply dumping such into the trash) and helped with some boxing and carrying to the truck. It was surreal the last few days before heading out. After the Big Truck move two weeks ago, there was definitely an echo to the place. Once the house was empty last Friday afternoon, the echo was even more pronounced. We hit the road about 7pm and, after a dinner stop, made it into Pueblo, Colorado about 10pm. Saturday was a long but uneventful day of driving from there to Flagstaff, Arizona. The only mild glitches in the trip were at Flag--Motel6 was completely full and we ended up with a smoking room that absolutely reeked. We're not "smoke nazis" but both of us were very stuffed up the next day, like we'd spent the night in a smokey bar. Also, the place didn't have any parking available that the truck+car trailer would fit in, so we parked across the street at the edge of the Walmart parking lot, alot with many other long vehicles. Sunday we both were awake about 630am, showered, got some donuts (and eyed a spectacular example of Flagstaff 2-legged wildlife that was shopping--dark brown hair, grey-streaked beard, tight jeans, t-shirt and scuffed up work boots). We were on the road by 830am and at the storage unit at 1030am. We unloaded everything inside the door, then used the shade and cool of the hallway to sort and fit things into storage. Finished that about 130pm and took the car trailer to U-Haul dropoff, then came to our temporary apartment and showered, ate and waiting for late afternoon. Around 630pm, we pulled the truck around and dropped the last boxes and items near the apartment, then carried them in. At 753pm Mountain Standard Time (Arizona doesn't go on daylight time), the last box went into the apartment and the process started in February was complete. Now I'm surrounded by boxes and working to setup my "corner" which will be my home office until we move into a house in late summer. Hello Phoenix, and Arizona again! (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 2nd, 2006
10:21 am	Expensive welcome Yowch... Fixing the ignition on the Honda from the screwdriver damage of last week when someone tried to steal it? $1200 An expensive welcome to Phoenix. Ugh. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 1st, 2006
2:37 pm	Moving - Days 2 to 5 and afterward Well, the move is done. Day 2 (last Saturday) was the second day of truck loading. Around 3pm, it was obvious that not quite everything was going to fit. As Bob puts it, the truck needed to be 4-5 feet longer. So there's another small truck in our future, next weekend. Friends Ron and Van helped pack and stow boxes and we worked until early evening, then the truck was basically full so we took the troupe to eat BBQ. Day 3 (last Sunday) was the first of two driving days. We pulled out of the driveway at 9:59am, one minute ahead of Bob's "I want to be on the road by 10am". Had to take down the 4 computer servers and stow them, do a few last minute things. The truck handled well considering the load of books and houseful of stuff. We made decent time to Albuquerque, arriving about 7pm to a great steak dinner at friend Charlie's place, and beds for the night. Day 4 (last Monday) was the drive from Albuquerque to Phoenix, uneventful but getting warmer! Thanks goodness for airco in the truck. Day 5 (Tuesday) was unload into storage day. Turns out the truck was too tall to pull into the storage building, but we were able to park by a side door, prop it open and cart the entire contents from truck to storage room about 30 ft away in 4 1/2 hours. Whew! Just enough room left for the remaining stuff. Last couple of days has been recover from the lifting and carrying (oh my aching back), and getting the home network rebuilt and servers online. Everything is up and running now... yay!!! Working away on stuff today for both work and home. I will fly back to Colorado on Saturday, spend Sunday finishing packing the bit that's left and cleaning, then clean through evenings next week. Bob will fly up again next Thursday night, we'll load the truck Friday morn, get carpet cleaned and turn over keys, then hit the road Friday afternoon, drive Saturday and into Phoenix Sunday, unload, get rid of truck, and collapse... all moved! C'mon June 11th... Thanks again to Steve, Van and Ron for all their help! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 27th, 2006
8:14 am	Moving - Day 1 Well, the move to Phoenix is finally here. Myself and the balance of our household goods are heading southwestward. A special shout out to friend Steve from Lincoln for coming out to help us pack the truck, and he's going to ride down and help us unpack as well. Probably 90% of this load will go into the 10x30 airconditioned storage unit that's already renting and waiting for us Tuesday morn. Things have had a good/touch bad start. Bob was out working by Yuma and arrived back in Phoenix Thursday afternoon to find that our Honda had been broken into. They tried to steal it from the parking at his office while he'd been out for 4 days. The ignition is ruined, the key won't even go into it--apparently they tried to use a screwdriver to start it. So, in a fit of spite, they stole our entire Sirius radio setup and the faceplate from the stereo. Someone from Bob's office took him to the apartment, then he took a cab to the airport to get here. I've already sent them a nice raised finger by calling Sirius to report the unit stolen and have it deactivated--so it won't work now and if someone else tries to register it, they'll be informed it was stolen. So Bob was a stressball when he arrived late Thursday night. Yesterday (Friday) went much better for Day 1 of moving. The Budget truck was already at the dealer (I'd found out Wednesday) and was ready to go. Rental was smooth and we were loading in the driveway by 10:30am. We three worked away all day loading until about 7:30pm. It was a long day, but the garage is just about empty, the kitchen is a cavern with the washer, dryer and refrigerator in the truck, and the living room and my office really are big rooms! We figure to have 2/3 of the stuff in the truck and it's 2/3 full. Looks like the rest will fit, just about right. Things will go a bit slower today, since I didn't really get the kitchen packed (but there's not tons of stuff there), and two more friends Van and Ron are coming to help today, which will give us two more sets of hands. It will probably take a good part of today, but we all three see how much went into the truck yesterday and feel confident it'll get done. Then tomorrow (Sunday) we get up, shutdown the 4 servers I host and put them in the truck, put the futon, plants and fish in, and head for Albuquerque. Monday will be onward to Phoenix and Tuesday will be unload a bit of stuff to the apartment in the morning coolness and then on to storage (which is big enough to let a truck pull into and is covered and airco'd) rest of the day. Steak dinner and hot tub at the apartment await us Tuesday night. I'll return Saturday the 3rd to spend the 4th and a couple of evenings cleaning the rental house and being around for blinds cleaning and carpet cleaning. Friday the 9th I turn the keys back to the landlady and drive our second car to Phoenix via a yet-to-be-determined path through the mountains. In some ways, Sunday June 11th is the carrot dangling in front of me. Onward to Phoenix, and the next chapter of my life and Bob and I's life! (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
1:13 pm	Phoenix and Dallas, Thoughts of Colorado (posted day after flight it was written on--no, I'm not illegally running my cell modem on planes!) Well, Bob and I are officially half moved to Phoenix. U-Haul's old slogan was "An Adventure in Moving". Well, as adventures go, it was OK. Mostly uneventful, with a few moments of heavy stress. I was going to post a blow-by-blow, but the start of it was kind of dull. Highlights... U-Haul proved to be disorganized and finger pointed between groups that they didn't inform us we wouldn't get the truck at the local dealer, but rather one 40 miles away. Not a good glitch to start a day I was only going to be an hour later to work for, and ended up 3 hours late. We will not be using them for the second stage move. Uneventful drive down, but had some fun with the cell modem and laptop--including the short LJ post from the road. Lots of talking with Bob along the way, a pure joy to have hours to do in person. Overnighted in Albuquerque at friend Charlie's house, then on to Phoenix via Flagstaff. When we stopped for gas east of Flagstaff, Bob asked me for the camera and got me to stand at the stop sign nearby. Yeah... Bob humor... "I was standing on the corner in Winslow, Arizona... such a fine(?) sight to see..." (*chuckle*) I continue to use the Jessica Rabbit quote when people ask why I'm with Bob... "He makes me laugh". In Flagstaff, we were munching dinner when the TV was showing "(Phoenix) Channel 5... Live! Now! Immediate!" or whatever their 3 catchy tense slogan words were... big traffic jam on I-17 just north of Phoenix--and the only way without going 100 miles out of the way which we had to use. We crossed our fingers that the mess would be cleaned up by the time we got there... I forget Flag is only 100 and some miles north of Phoenix. So about an hour later, we got to sit on a downhill on I-17 looking at red taillights across the valley. It was about an hour wait. Funny how some people get all twitchy... I think the guy in front of us never put his car in park, rather had his foot on the brake the entire time and kept edging up an inch or so like it would make the jam go away. My careful research on apartments in Phoenix was a bust. They're 97% full. I called like 20 places, then panicked and remembered apartment search services (been over 10 years since needed such). He told us many apartments in Phoenix have gone condo, what's left is 97% full, and over 30,000 people are moving to Phoenix *per month* right now. And he found us a place. Yay for Apartment Finders! It's a nice place, right in the middle of town (near 20th and Camelback, in the Biltmore area, for those familiar with Phoenix). Surrounded by tons of shopping literally within 4 blocks--Best Buy, grocery, BedBathBeyond, TraderJoes, bank ATM, Macy's, many restaurants... We liked it and "applied" (fancy term for credit and background check fees times two, plus a $100 "nonrefundable administrative fee to take the apartment off the market"). Apartment office guy that we were dealing with was pretty disorganized. I can understand he'd been on the property for only 4 days at that point, but he supposedly had been working for the company at another property. He couldn't tell us that it would be 4 days until the apartment was going to be ready until *after* he'd gotten the $175 out of our debit card, he never called the next morn to tell us we cleared credit and background--I had to call him. Then he forgot to call with a total due so I could transfer the money from savings to checking to make the move-in payment... and after I checked out of the motel and was driving the truck there Friday afternoon to sign the lease and start moving in, he called to say the apartment wouldn't be ready until the next day because the carpet cleaners had just shown up. Not one of my prettier moments when I walked in... we'd not yet signed the lease and I was ready to walk. But first I wanted to speak to the manager. Night and day. In 20 minutes, she had listened, soothed, gotten angry at the screwups too, promised to pay for the 4 additional days of keeping the U-Haul, given us $25 towards dinner and let us put a box fan in the unit, go to dinner, then move in just the bed and frame so we could sleep in the new apartment that night. The carpet would get a touch-up cleaning after the move if it needed it (it didn't). She also has lived at those apartments herself for 2 years and has some pride in the place. Wow... thank goodness for organized people! Seems like they're rarer and rarer. In the night, Bob's knee gave out when he was coming back from the bathroom... so we had middle of the night knee rubbing, heating pad, and the start of Saturday with me finding a nearby Walgreens to buy him a knee brace (his was in an unknown one of the boxes in the truck), then me doing alot of the walking during the move. What a workout! We got the truck back Saturday evening, 9 days after picking it up. Sunday was fairly relaxing... seeking out Le Peep for breakfast, some groceries and then mellow unpacking and setting things up. In the evening, I flew back to Colorado. It turns out we're under 10 minutes down the nearby freeway to the Phoenix airport. We knew it was only about 4-5 miles, but the speed with which we were parking lot to parking lot was amazing. However, we also know what that freeway looks like daytime (*grin*)... not so good. We had our strange encounter with Jews for Jesus that I mentioned in passing in a post or two back. I don't like public religious solicitation. I think one should find and embrace their beliefs, not be coerced into them. The J4J's were wearing t-shirts with big lettering announcing the fact, and insistive on wanting to ask me a question... which I tried to brush off, but finally relented. "Do you know who Jesus is?" Well duh. But I couldn't resist: "I think that was the name of the guy that served us as Wendy's today". I occasionally get a good zinger out of /dev/sarcasm in my head in time to use it... That confused them. In a city with a big Hispanic population, that should have been at least worth a chuckle. But they continued with response #2a-sub-43 about how Jesus is the messiah and how does he fit in my life? They really didn't like it when I told them I share my religious beliefs with very few people and they're my own private information. They tried a few more pat sentences that I brushed off (Bob was being Mr. Silent And Let Jeff Do The Talking... thanks for all the help, love). I was opening my mouth to tell them the younger of the pair was cute and furry enough (he was bearded and a bit chunky) that he could spend the night learning the "Bob Religion" that involves worshiping Bob on one's knees, but Continental dumped a planeload of folks through security at that point and J4J's were off and running to handout pamphlets. Drat. I'm not usually that forward, but if they wanted to foist their religious views on me, then I think it fair they listen to my views on subjects near and dear to me, like my husband having adequate companionship when I'm not around. Wonder what they'd have said about my attempt at "recruiting" and spreading our view of kneeling to worship? (*chuckle*) A quick ride back to Colorado (reflecting on my views of "home" shifting--see a previous post) and the Phoenix move (stage 1 of 2) was complete. ------------------------------- I'm winging my way southeastward again from Denver to Dallas. Heading down to see Matt, Sean, Loki, and the bears of TBRU this weekend. Looking forward to all of it! I managed to come back from last week in North Carolina with a souvenir cold, but it's starting to break up and I'm feeling better. I have my fingers firmly crossed that I'm no longer contagious. Last thing I need to do is to help Matt be "Typhoid Matty" for another social weekend. ------------------------------- Walking through the Denver airport tonight, I'm still wrestling with some melancholy about the impending move away. DIA is a beautiful and pretty efficient airport in the geographic place (Denver and the Front Range of Colorado) in the world that, to date, feels most like home to me than any other place I've been. I keep flashing on a scene in the last Star Trek movie to star the "old" cast... Spock is talking to someone in his cabin, who notes a painting on the bulkhead. I don't remember the exact name of it, but something along the line of "Expulsion from Paradise". He remarks he keeps the painting to remind himself that all good things come to an end. That really his a nerve with me. In reality, Colorado and it's mountains have been around for thousands of years, and will be for thousands more after I've long turned to dust. They aren't going away. They'll be there when I come back to visit, and I already plan to do that at least 4 times a year. The general population of younger-thinking, more energetic, more face-furry, and outdoorsy folks will still be here. And we can even move back someday. One *can* live in Colorado more than once. Don't get me wrong, I am also looking forward to the benefits of the move. First and foremost, Bob and I will have much more time together, and be exploring a new place together. He's holding back doing too much exploring in Phoenix until I get there. Now that we have the solution to our separation in the form of his new job, it's just a matter of getting through the coming 10 or so weeks to Memorial Day until he and I are back together much more often. I'm also starting to chat online with bears in the Phoenix area and there are some interesting ones I look forward to meeting in person. There's also a sense of adventure, of Bob and I embarking on something new together (stress on the together). While we've lived in Tucson before, cash and time were tight. This time around, both will be more available. We're already talking about road trips to Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Meteor Crater, Palm Springs... in the last couple of days, I'm realizing I want to see more than Nogales in northern Sonora and will be looking into flights to Hermosillo, Guyamas and points south in Mexico. This will also be the first city neither of us has lived in, so we get to learn it at the same time. Easy access to southern California by road and air will be great too and I look forward to more often trips to San Diego and LA, to see Sean more often. Also looking forward to the easier access and cheaper flights it will give me to spend time with Matt. Seeing him 10 weeks ago in Tucson, then 5 weeks ago for a week visit, and now in just an hour... I do want to be seeing him every 6 or so weeks going into the future. Bob's aware of this and is both understanding and supportive. Polyamory has all kinds of facets... there's balancing and compromise, but with these two terrific men in my life to love (as well as them bringing Sean and so many other interesting folks along), it's absolutely worth the time, cost of travel, and effort. Phoenix makes significant parts of that easier. So the road ahead is good, but part of my emotional soul is sad realizing DIA won't be my home airport soon, the smaller city of Longmont with it's terrific view of the Indian Peaks and Longs Peak won't be home anymore... it was grey today and snowing on and off this afternoon as I drove from work to home, then on out of town towards the airport. Won't be seeing alot of snow in Phoenix. This morning I booked the moving truck for Memorial Day weekend. It was actually kind of hard to click on the "complete reservation" number. I actually had to walk back in the house for a minute, looking at Bob's empty office and the nearly empty bedroom to send myself back to my computer to complete the reservation. Funny how a place gets in your blood. I love you Colorado. A piece of me will stay there and I will be back often. (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 6th, 2006
1:24 am	Home is...??? Just back from the week long trip to Phoenix... Bob is settled into our apartment there, nicely located in the middle of town and incredibly convenient to shopping and services... more about our adventure in a day or two. Sitting in the Phoenix airport after I checked in tonight, Bob and I were hit up by two t-shirt wearing "Jews for Jesus". That encounter is worth of a small post in itself, but they asked if we were waiting for someone to arrive (we were sitting near the security portal to the gate area), and I replied "No, I'm flying home... er, to Denver... er, to home". After we rid ourselves of J4J's, Bob and I chatted about that confusion... for him, Phoenix is basically home now. That's where he's living and most of his stuff is. Yup, this is the trial 6 weeks of the new job, but they already are happy to have him and making plans for him to help expand their business, and he likes the vibe there. I'd say 95% sure has risen to 98% sure that he'll be staying with the job and I'll thus be moving to Phoenix by summer. But I haven't moved yet. I live in Longmont, Colorado... I guess. Most of *my* stuff is here in the house I just arrived at in the last hour, and I am fairly happy to be in the house in front of my computer... but home is already shifting south to Phoenix for me too. Because really, home is where Bob's at. The phrase "home is where the heart is" really is true... so home is LongmontPhoenix-in-transition. And my week in Dallas with Matt just a week and a half ago was really comfortable... he noted in a post last week his feelings of enjoying having me at his place when he got home each night, and I enjoyed seeing him come in. There will be more times like that with him, the next just a few weeks away. So a part of my home is also where Matt is, which means I also have a home in Dallas. I'm starting to really feel. When I'm in Dallas, I'm starting to know my way around, getting to have a couple of favorite restaurants, seeing the different times of year there in the weather, following some bits and pieces of local politics and business that interest me. All due to part of my love being centered there and taking me there. I've already been joking that my next personal card shouldn't have a street address and email on it. I think it should have my name, cell number, email and just cities listed. So, tonight, I comfortably say that card would look like: Longmont, CO - Phoenix - Dallas Wow. This realization really sunk in as I was sitting in the gate area in Phoenix, and rolled around in my head on the plane ride to Denver. I don't live one place anymore. It will probably be a long time before I ever call just one place "home" again, if ever. Sure, the place I primarily spend my time will be the automatic answer to some stranger asking "where are you from?"... but in reality, so much more. I'm bemused by the "jet set" feel of it, but also a bit agog that my life is so rich and so diverse that multiple cities being "home" is the truth of my life. I also know that Colorado is the most comfortable place I've ever lived... that's why I've lived here twice. "Longmont" will morph to "Denver" since more people know the larger city, but it will keep a place on my personal card for a long time to come--I'll be back here at least 4 times a year for a week each, I've promised myself, my area friends, and my job based from here. Oddly, where I grew up is no longer home... various places in the west, and high school in South Dakota is a memory, a place. I haven't been there in years. My folks and sister have moved on, but their new state (Washington state) is not "home" to me either... it's where I go to visit them. Who knows... Bob and I have already promised each other that Phoenix isn't our final stop. We like snowy mountains, pine trees, and cooler temperatures. We will have them again, but for now we must move to Phoenix in order to get what we've wanted most--time being together again. Gad, I'm rambling... time for bed. Uh, wait... the bed is in Phoenix... time for the futon! Okaaaaaayyyy... (*chuckle*) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 25th, 2006
2:03 pm	Next adventure begins, and geeky goodness Well, the next adventure in my life has begun...rolling on down the road from Longmont to Phoenix in the U-Haul with Bob's stuff. We'll spend tonight in Albuquerque at a friend's place, then drive on to Phoenix tomorrow. I have Monday and Tuesday off... we'll search for a temporary apartment for Bob for 3 months, and get the U-Haul unloaded into it. This is good geekyness... my new cellular modem card. Buzzing down the highway, connected to the Internet... ain't technology grand! Passing exit 122 of I-25 for Pikes Peak International Raceway... midway between Colorado Springs and Pueblo, heading south... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
5:39 pm	View behind and ahead Yesterday afternoon sucked. Nothing went as planned. Cingular continued to screw up my cell modem order... the modem finally arrived (3 days late) and no SIMM card thing. Only solution was to drive down to the Cingular store in Boulder, 12 miles away. Waiting, waiting, 30 seconds of sort-of service, calling from the parking lot on the cell to finish the activation. And Foley's department store credit is also on my grump list for a jumbled store customer service visit after Cingular. I ate some dinner in Boulder that was OK, but not all that great. Then I was driving northeast from Boulder to Longmont. It was just after sunset. In the rear view mirror, I could see the outline of the mountains to the west and felt that bit of sadness I won't see them every day soon. Bob's new job and being with him much, much more outweighs loosing the mountain view, but... but. Then I looked ahead as I rolled out of Boulder... the just-rising full moon was brilliant orange on the eastern horizon. I stared at it a few minutes as I drove along, thinking about it shining down on places elsewhere with loved ones, and thought about many of them. I took a quick minute to call Bob... he was at dinner with his dig crew in northern Phoenix, a boisterous bunch. Told him I just called to tell him I loved him and to look up at the moon when he left dinner. He's used to my occasional "look at the sky" calls. A second quick call landed me in Matt's voicemail--crossed my mind (and I was right) that it was about time for him to be at workout. Left him a voicemail to look at the moon, give me a call if he had a few minutes, and that I love him. He called back later and noted it was funny... he was looking at the moon as he walked out of the workout club in Dallas, thought of me, and checked his voicemail to see who'd called. The night sky is both a passion and a constant in my life. It helps me sometimes to know I can be looking up at something and others I care about can look up (barring obstruction) and see what I see too, even hundreds and thousands of miles away. Getting my attention turned ahead also fits that while I'm sad to leave Colorado again, I'm excited (and a little impatient) for the Phoenix adventure to begin, to have Bob back physically in my life so much more. Just a little moonlight and a little cell phone technology flipped my mood... I sailed on home with a happy smile. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
5:18 pm	hearts! Yeah, yeah... it's Valentine's Day... a Hallmark holiday, to be sure. But it's kinda cool too to stand up and say "I love you" with everyone else, one day a year. And I get to do it twice over (*grin*). So Happy Valentine's Day, Bob and Matt (mattycub). I love you both deeply, have enjoyed the time we've had so far, and intend many more years together with each and both of you. ------------------------ And there's the wishes of smiles and caring to close friends, family, chosen family... I love you all. My life is overflowing because of you all in it. ------------------------ I have to agree with Matt's posting today on today versus polyamory... yeah, it's double the budget, double the effort... and double the reward. In the middle of my first conference call today and trying to wake up, my cell buzzed with a message. Simple words from Bob: "Happy Valentines Day. Be mine forever". That teared me up, loaded with the emotion that this should be the last time we're apart this long... one week from tomorrow, we'll be together again, and starting into our Phoenix adventure. Then later this morn, Yahoo IM from Matt tips me off to his LJ posting today, and the sentiment in there got me misty again, loaded with knowing I get to see him in just one more day. Yahoo IM delivered again this afternoon, when Sean popped up also to wish me Happy V-day. Not misty, but warm feelings of caring and shared life. You're a bonus surprise that polyamory has given me (*smile*). More than double the reward. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 1st, 2006
12:11 pm	Southwest bound What is it about the state of Arizona?!?! I have lived there twice (college, then again 1995-1999, both times in Tucson). Bob has found and accepted a job in Phoenix, starting 4 weeks from today. We'll put him in a small apartment for a few months, then I will follow sometime in the first half of summer once we're sure his new job is a good fit. I've just finished making arrangements to work remote from there, continuing my current job. Thus I will be a resident of Arizona for a third time. We get our top item on the list--being together at least 51% of the time. The past 4 years of Bob gone from home so much has been wearing on both of us, but has also shown us we absolutely want to be together. Our relationship wouldn't have survived otherwise, and we wouldn't break down in tears each time on his last evening at home after 16 years together. I also get my second criteria of continued good air access to visit Matt. There's other pluses... I've lived in Tucson twice, so have a decent familiarity with Phoenix already. I can get around Phoenix and have an idea where major things are, but there will be so much new to explore--new people to meet, new hole-in-wall restaurants and stores to find, and much more. Tucson will be just 100 miles away, so will make for easy weekend trips to go and see friends there. Arizona State University (ASU) has strong graduate programs in archaeology and astronomy, so Bob may work on his PhD part-time and I will at least take some classes if not work towards a MS in computer science, also part-time. Cash flow will dictate what we can do there. Phoenix is a easy 2day or one hard day drive to Denver, and I will be coming back to Colorado about every 3 months to work for a week, see friends, and glimpse pine trees and white mountains. So it's a relief that the end of Bob and I's separation is in sight, my management is willing to let me work remotely, and Phoenix fits our desired logistics for now. The next stage of the the adventure of life begins... (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 15th, 2006
1:39 pm	twice around the sun Happy second anniversary, Matt mattycub. I love you. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 3rd, 2005
1:16 pm	Amazed in Indiana Life's been busy lately, so not much time for posting here. Hoping to catch up some soon on the great trips over last few months... dodging hurricanes and heatstroke in Austin, concerts in Dallas, wonderful Thanksgiving in Vancouver. Right now, I'm in northwest Indiana about 45 miles from downtown Chicago, on a urgent work project. Pretty rural here... out past the Chicago 'burbs and into the nearby towns is where I'm at. Staying in a place called Merrillville that's at junction of I-65 and US-30. Acrosss the freeway is a big mall. Nothing but chain restaurant and stores before the open fields of crops start. One restauarant within mile of motel stays open after 10pm at night. So I nearly drove right off the highway this morning going from motel to computer center... an Elton John song was playing (forget which one). Song ends. Female DJ says, brightly and matter of factly: "Well, Elton John will soon be off the market. He is marrying his longtime male partner. A Christmas honeymoon is planned." And she announces the next song... (!!!) I knew Sir Elton was wedding, but... that type of mainstream acceptance of gaydom still startles me. Annouced with enthusiasm and on a seeming similar playing field to announcing a rocker's heterosex marriage. All stuff I dreamed of two decades ago when I came out... "maybe someday we'll be accepted". Well, here we are.. on a rock station is semi-rural Indiana. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
10:06 pm	choco-bliss My my... I have found a new level of bliss. I was nosing about in the grocery store ice cream aisle the other day and found... Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Therapy This is probably old news to B&J's longtime fans, but I try to keep *some* semblance of eating healthy by not visiting the ice cream zone too often. The contents sounded interesting: "Chocolate Ice Cream with Chocolate Cookies and Swirls of Chocolate Pudding Ice Cream". When I cracked it open a few days ago for the first time, I was greeted with a dark, dark substance. I spooned some out and sat down... the first taste was Oh. My. Gawd. I'm eating a smallish bowl of this delight again tonight as I write this... I found I got a big chocolate buzz on a full bowl and want to be able to sleep tonight (*chuckle*). (5 Comments |Comment on this)